It is still the beginning.

It's not that I hate lists, but - the thing is I kind of hate lists. I concede their use in getting things out of my head and onto paper, where things always turn out to be less of an ordeal than I imagine. But a list is also a tangible reminder of all the ways I'm not measuring up, my best placed intentions not yet manifest, staring smugly up at me from its papery perch.

So, I avoid lists whenever possible. Instead of to-do lists, I draw myself maps representing the tasks I will complete as I move throughout the day. My shopping lists are more like charts or grids, their own type of grocery store map.

And New Years' resolutions? They get boiled down, reduced and condensed into short phrases. My resolutions are mantras I can remember all year, kept in the back of my mind to inform my choices with a much broader scope than some collection of aspirations.

Favorite mantras of past years include: "get out of your comfort zone" and "find the third option."

This year my resolution consists of two words, often and mistakenly placed in opposition to one another. Two words to remind me to soak up this (deceptively) still moment between the events that were and those that will be. To remind me to allow art/space/time/whatever-needs-making to spring from a place of calm rather than angst.

New Years' mantra 2016: Relax. Create.

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